The Ballad of Morbid and Putrid By Sawyer Lovett

The Ballad of Morbid and Putrid By Sawyer Lovett

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The Ballad of Morbid and Putrid
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How many times
Did she tell me I’d be
p e r f e c t
if I were a boy,
further pulverizing my
tender lesbian heart.
.
& here I am
all these years later;
relocations & relationships,
addiction & recovery,
all these miles & memories later.
.
They say you never forget
your first
            crush
            love
            heartbreak
& I am certain, having outlived mine
remembering is memorial.
.
I will always wonder
what she would think
of the boy I became;
of the man in progress
of the person she knew
but never really met.
Would I be perfect now
in this same skin, differently shaped?
.
I will always miss her
will always wonder
if knowing myself earlier
could have saved us both.
.
Sawyer Lovett is a writer, bookseller, and professor. He is a pretty good person, but he is always trying to be better.
.
.